COMPETITION: Potential excuses for a cop who's flipped a car through a hedge.

[R33_GTS-t]

Don't trust the police with your car.....

With regrads to this thread, it has become apparent that some would like to make excuses for the police in light of their Cr4porz-a-hedge-fuxxor-gard3n-h4use initiative.

Please feel free to create excuses below. Marks will be awarded for imagination, dry-wit, sarcasm, re-use of existing cliche-type governmnetal excuses, linkage to current affairs and volume of coffee spluttered on to monitors.

The winner, should* get a year's free GTROC membership.







*But likely won't.

[GavGTR]

R33 GTS-t made me do it!

[R33_GTS-t]

That's actually pretty good.

How about:

"I was trying to send a text back to the station to tell them we had an Evo for the night, but when I reached into my bag I discovered the head of an MI6 agent, I panicked, and then a Cumbrian Fell sheep jumped into the middle of the road. I lifted off and went for the brake but the accelerator was jammed, I looked down and noticed the pedal said 'Toyota'. I figured that the AYC would save me but the terrain indicator cycled from Tarmac to Gravel to Snow to Prick and flung me off the road."

[R33_GTS-t]

Should have gone to spec savers.

[konvert]

what seems to be the problem here...?

[RSVFOUR]

top thread btw

My offering

i woz proceeding down the road in a mitsubishi lancer I had just confiscated for being too yellow. At 10,32 precisely i spotted a grey squirrel acting very suspiciously .

i suspected him to be a well known drug dealer as he was carrying what I beleived to be heroin cleverly disguised as an acorn in his hands

The suspect who I was sure was also an illegal immigrant was well known to me as I had stopped and serched someone just like him three times earlier that evening but each time the suspect had eaten the evidence .

I challenged the suspect but he pretended he did not speak english and ran off . I immeadiately gave pursuit and was right behind him when he ran into a ditch and went up a tree.

unfortunately so did i.

we woz unable to find the heroin as the suspect burried the package under the oak tree.

[TAZZMAXX]

"Guv, we had 2 suspects in custody back at the nick but had been out for some fish and chips, some porno mags and a bung off one of the local dealers we turn a blind eye to, then we noticed this Evo driving at 30mph.

We woz instantly suspicious that he wasn't nailing it so we confiscated it though we'd give it some as we needed to get back to beat a confession out of the 2 we had in the nick and our panda car had ran out of petrol. We came back, got the confession, took the Evo back, returned it to the driver and let him go. He goes and stuffs it and when we ran over to help get him out, it looks like we'd been part of it!

We know it looks bad Guv and it's difficult to believe, but it's the Gods honest truth, that's wot appened".

[tonigmr2]

Due to an unexplained local tornado it accelerated us to over 60mph in a 30mph limit and to top it off it lifted us up and we got blown off the road into a tree.

[Thrust]

To quote from the original article, verbatim:

The car was later being driven away from the scene when it travelled over a grass verge, across the garden of one house and through the neighbour's garden fence before ending up on its side.

So you see, m'lud, it was the plodding car's fault, not ours.

[Ruff McMuff]

I wasnt used to driving a car with AYC.

[Max Boost]

"Sarge, my trotters were in the '10 to 2' position on the steering wheel"

[jai.vikram]

^ Better driving than most :O

[R33_GTS-t]

^I think they'll get their just desserts.

Someone had changed a sign to point the wrong way. We followed it and were immediately met by 2 gardens and a house.

[andrew186]

What are you talking about? We arrested the the drunk driver AFTER he lost control of his vehicle and smashed it into the houses. DOH!

[GTR Cook]

Top Gear wrecked a criminals EVO, so we thought we would..................