Seven Dwarfs

[Harry]

The seven dwarfs went off to work in the mine one day, while Snow White stayed at home to do the housework and cook their lunch. However when she went to the mine to deliver their lunches, she found there had been a cave-in, and there was no sign of the dwarfs. Tearfully she yelled in to the mine entrance:

"Hello - is anyone there. Can anyone hear me".

A voice floated up from the bowels of the mine:

"England will win the Rugby World Cup"

"Thanks be to God" said Snow White "at least Dopey's still alive"

[Howsie]

LMAO @ Harry - Have you just woken up dude or I suppose you could still be dreaming

Come on England!!!

[Big Mark]

Funny, the version that was sent to me last week by a Kiwi read Australia not England

[emicen]

Here's one that got sent to me by email:

>> > >International Rugby Board (IRB) Rugby World Cup 2003
>> > >Following complaints made to the IRB about the All Blacks being
>> > >allowed to motivate themselves by performing the 'Haka' before
>> > >their games, other nations were asked to suggest pre-match rituals of
>> > >their own. The IRB Rugby World Cup 2003 Organising Committee has now
>> > >agreed to the following pre-match displays:
>> > >
>> > >a.. The England team will chat about the weather, wave hankies in
>> > >the air and attach bells to their ankles before moaning about how they
>> > >invented the game and gave it to the world, and how it's not fair
>> > >that everyone still thinks New Zealand are the best team in the world.
>> >
>> > >b.. The Scotland team will chant "You lookin' at me Jimmy?" before
>> > >smashing an Iron Bru bottle over their opponents' heads.
>> >
>> > >c.. The Ireland team will split into two, with the Southern half
>> > >performing a Riverdance, while the Northerners march the
>> > >Traditional route from their dressing room to the pitch, via their
>>opponents
>> > >dressing room.
>> >
>> > >d.. Unfortunately the Committee were unable to accept the Welsh
>> > >suggestion following representations from the RSPCA.
>> >
>> > >e.. Argentina will unexpectedly invade a small part of opposition
>> > >territory, claim it as their own "Las In-Goals-Areas" and then be
>> > >forcibly removed by the match stewards.
>> >
>> > >f.. Two members of the South African team will claim to be more
>> > >important than the other 13 whom they will imprison between the
>> > >posts whilst they claim the rest of the pitch for themselves.
>> >
>> > >g.. The Americans will not attend until almost full time. In future
>> > >years they will amend the records to show that they were in fact
>> > >the most important team in the tournament and Hollywood will make a
>> > >film called 'Saving No.8 Lyle'.
>> >
>> > >h.. Five of the Canadian team will sing La Marseillaise and hold
>> > >the rest of the team to ransom.
>> >
>> > >i.. The Italian team will arrive in Armani gear, sexually harass
>> > >the female stewards and then run away.
>> >
>> > >j.. The Spanish will sneak into the other half of the pitch, mow it
>> > >and then claim that it was all in line with European "grass
>> > >quotas". They will then curl up under the posts and have a kip until
>>half
>> > >time, when their appeal for compensation against the UK Government
>>will
>> > >be heard.
>> >
>> > >k.. The Japanese will attempt to strengthen their team by offering
>> > >good salaries to the key opposition players and then run around the
>> > >pitch at high speed in a highly efficient manner before buying the
>> > >ground (with a subsidy from the UK Government).
>> >
>> > >l.. The French will declare they have new scientific evidence that
>> > >the opposition are in fact all mad. They will then park lorries across
>> > >the halfway line, let sheep loose in the opposition half (much to the
>> > >delight of Wales!) and burn the officials.
>> >
>> >
>> > >m.. The Australians will have a barbie before negotiating lucrative
>> > >singing and TV contracts in the UK. They will then invite all their
>> > >mates to come and live with them in Shepherds Bush.".

[emicen]

Now that we've done snow white, lets see what sleeping beauty gets up to, look carefully people

[KrazY_IvaN]

that pic aint gonna last long

[Piggaz]

Bit werid coming from a person who lives in the country where its being held, but is it a Aussie VS England Final?

... havent been following it

EDIT: Good joke

[KrazY_IvaN]

Originally posted by Piggaz
Bit werid coming from a person who lives in the country where its being held, but is it a Aussie VS England Final?

... havent been following it

EDIT: Good joke

Yes it is, but I only know cos they said on the news, any sport that involves running around and sweating alot then taking a shower with your team mates aint really my cup-o-tea

[emicen]

Originally posted by KrazY_IvaN
that pic aint gonna last long

How, its hardly lude?

[bladerider]

Only in England, where we moan non stop about no longer being a world power/best footballers/best racing drivers/best olympians/best cricketers/best tennis players etc etc do we then take the pi$$ and laugh at the only National Sport we are currently the best in the world at.

You lot dissapoint me greatly.

J.

Oh, and class on sleepy flickin the bean !! lol

[Big Mark]

Originally posted by bladerider
Only in England, where we moan non stop about no longer being a world power/best footballers/best racing drivers/best olympians/best cricketers/best tennis players etc etc do we then take the pi$$ and laugh at the only National Sport we are currently the best in the world at.

You lot dissapoint me greatly.

J.

Maybe I missed something Bladey old chap, but I wasn't taking the p1ss out of our lads, and Harry's an 'Antipodean' gent so is likely well versed in the fine art of pommie bashing and can therefore be excused.

[Harry]

"best in the world" - not yet baby!!

Hey, and stop confusing me with a local

[emicen]

Wana know what I think will happen to England?

[bladerider]

Fair point Maria !!

I always think of everyone in here as English !! (well except srotes, I mean Scots like jason !!)

Get stuffed you beer swillin, lazy good fer nuthin, sixth generation crims !!!

U know we're gonna make you look silly !!!!


J.

[emicen]

Originally posted by bladerider
Fair point Maria !!

I always think of everyone in here as English !! (well except srotes, I mean Scots like jason !!)

U know we're gonna make you look silly !!!!


J.

If you're gona use the age old pun you might as well get it right, SCROTES