I was pottering along (thankfully not in the Skyline) the other day and following my sat-nav when it decided to direct me up a lane which was deemed "Not Suitable for Motor Vehicles" according to the road sign at it's entrance. Thinking this may spruce up an otherwise uneventful journey, I took this to be a challange.
So, around 2 miles in to the lane, I was bobbing along at a steady 40 and couldn't see what the bid deal was. Even the ex (although hardly the benchmark for intelligence and awareness) didn't notice anything to be out of the norm. Until I had to slow down for a corner - and sank:
Then, after a few minutes, I sank some more:
So I called Renault Assist, told them the road name I was on, and awaited some help. An hour and 30 minutes later, still nothing. I'm getting thirsty, ex is getting very narky, screaming at me a lot for being an idiot and coming down here in the first place, etc etc. Then, my phone rings.
"Hello?"
"Hi, it's Mick, the recovery man."
"Ah, excellent. Where are you?"
"The same place as you."
"Well you can't be, otherwise, I'd be able to see you..."
"No, I mean, the same place as you, as in, stuck."
*Laughing maniacally*
"I'm just waiting for them to get me out, then we'll come and get you."
*Still howling* "Ok."
At this point, ex demanded I leave the van and her company, else she was going to punch me.
A few
hours later, still having not had a drink - this bad boy turns up:
Ex-army.
...and starts to sink:
...and is sunk:
By now, I am laughing so hard there's serious danger of the recovery guy joining Laura's crusade to beat me senseless. All further (lack of) communication with her now takes place through my fleece, which she'd set up camp in:
A further few hours later, they send this thing with a winch on it, to come recover the army truck:
But it's really screwed, and they can't get it out:
More recovery people arrive, and bring a disposeable camera, as they've never seen this army Bedford get stuck in the 20 years they've had it:
A
tractor turns up to pull this army truck free.
They drag the truck up the lane, but it's stuck in the brances of the thicket, which rip off all the armour plating from it. The recovery people are not pleased.
Eventually they get me out with the help of the tractor. Some 14 hours after I initially got stuck.
Conveniently, there was a pub at the end of the lane!